


Crossroads | Marauders

by Vynopsis



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fluff and Smut, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Multi, Polyamorous Character, Polyamory, Reader-Insert, The Golden Trio Era (Harry Potter), mfm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-14 09:40:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 14,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29416521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vynopsis/pseuds/Vynopsis
Summary: Sirius Black x Fem!Reader x Remus Lupin"They're polar opposites; two sides of a full moon, yet they complete each other. It feels as if I'm stuck at a crossroads, yet I can only see one path; an image of holding both their hands in mine."Remus was bitten to teach a lesson, Sirius transformed to protect his friend, and you were born to watch over them. In which two Marauders discover what it means to feel an unfamiliar kind of love as you struggle to walk down two completely different paths, all the while trying to piece together the meaning behind the strange visions in your dreams.Every Sunday and Friday 7PM PST
Relationships: Remus Lupin/Reader, Remus Lupin/You, Sirius Black/Reader, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin/Reader, Sirius Black/You
Comments: 15
Kudos: 66





	1. Author's Note + Disclaimer

* * *

Thank you so much for coming to read Crossroads! Whether you arrived from reading my other Poly fic, **Red Ring** , or just stumbled upon this — Welcome! I really hope you'll enjoy this story.

This is a story on your three-way relationship with **Sirius Black** and **Remus Lupin**. And your long journey will span from Marauders Era ➜ Golden Trio Era. I also apologise in advance if any of the original characters may seem OOC on some occasions.

I will also be adding Notes at the end of specific chapters as there are important details within the story that need to be said. And a huge thank you to lizzweasley_ for proofreading the first four chapters of Crossroads way back in November. **  
**

𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐒 for each act are merely suggestions to get a sense of the overall mood of each section of the story. You may listen to them in no particular order.

 **Warning:** Suggestive and sexual themes, and mild offensive language.

* * *

⚠️ **This is a Vee Poly Relationship** ⚠️

 _The way a Vee works is that one person is sexually and romantically involved with the other two partners, but they_ _are_ _not sexually and romantically involved with one another._

 _There is NO_ _WOLFSTAR_

**Please RESPECT and keep an OPEN MIND on the topic of** **Polyamory/Polygamy/Polyandry in the comments.**

That's all I ask. If you're unable to do so — please **do not** proceed. Thank you!

_Mischief Managed_

__


	2. [ CAST ]

· ————— · ꕥ · ————— ·

BEN BARNES as **SIRIUS BLACK**

****

· ————— · ꕥ · ————— ·

ANDREW GARFIELD as **REMUS LUPIN**

****

· ————— · ꕥ · ————— ·

AARON-TAYLOR JOHNSON as **JAMES POTTER**

****

· ————— · ꕥ · ————— ·

DANE DEHAAN as **PETER PETTIGREW**

****

· ————— · ꕥ · ————— ·

SOPHIE SKELTON as **LILY EVANS**

****

· ————— · ꕥ · ————— ·

ALICIA VIKANDER as **MARLENE MCKINNON**

****

· ————— · ꕥ · ————— ·

ADAM DRIVER as **SEVERUS SNAPE**

****

· ————— · ꕥ · ————— ·

CILLIAN MURPHY as **LYALL LUPIN**

****

· ————— · ꕥ · ————— ·

KEIRA KNIGHTLEY as **HOPE LUPIN**

****


	3. [ MOODBOARD ]

【 ☼ 】

︸

╔══ FEM!READER + 𝑊𝐼𝑁𝐺𝑆 ══╗

𝐵𝑂𝑅𝑁 𝑇𝑂 𝑊𝐴𝑇𝐶𝐻 𝑂𝑉𝐸𝑅 𝑇𝐻𝐸𝑀 

【 ☽ 】

︸

╔══ SIRIUS BLACK + 𝑃𝐴𝐷𝐹𝑂𝑂𝑇 ══╗

𝑇𝑅𝐴𝑁𝑆𝐹𝑂𝑅𝑀𝐸𝐷 𝑇𝑂 𝑃𝑅𝑂𝑇𝐸𝐶𝑇 𝐻𝐼𝑆 𝐹𝑅𝐼𝐸𝑁𝐷

【 ☾ 】

︸

╔══ **REMUS LUPIN** +𝑀𝑂𝑂𝑁𝑌 ══╗

**𝐵𝐼𝑇𝑇𝐸𝑁** 𝑇𝑂 𝑇𝐸𝐴𝐶𝐻 𝐴 𝐿𝐸𝑆𝑆𝑂𝑁


	4. [ ACT ONE ]

"Together?"

╔═══════════╗

𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐇 𝟏𝟗𝟔𝟎 - 𝐉𝐔𝐍𝐄 𝟏𝟗𝟕𝟖

╚═══════════╝

"Together." "Forever."

[𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐒](https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL543LS1cIHAFUde6G93rWVpOsA_-78zCz)

**Home** by Dotan  
**The John Wayne** by Little Green Cars  
**I Found** by Amber Run  
**Meet Me in the Woods** by Lord Huron  
**Obstacles** by Syd Matters  
**Saturn** by Sleeping At Last


	5. Unexpected Visitor

— 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐇 𝟏𝟗𝟔𝟎

The Lupins lived in a small wooden cottage somewhere in the West Country of England. They lived a pretty uncomplicated life; Lyall Lupin was an expert on Non-Human Spiritous Apparition which led him to go on expeditions from time to time while his wife, Hope, was a simple housewife that kept their home in check as she waited for his return.

However, once Hope realised she had become pregnant with their first child, Lyall jumped at the opportunity to pause any further expeditions, and opted to stay by her side. 

One night, rain fell upon their home as the wind howled in a low pitch rattling the nearby trees. One tree in particular had its leaves and branches hit against the second-floor glass windowpane of a nursery room, waking their two-week old baby. It was not the unexpected weather that kept Lyall and Hope Lupin up, but the unceasing cries of their newborn son.

A soft candlelight lit the room, and from her rocking chair, Hope admired her husband as he picked up his son from the crib to cradle him in his arms.

“He’s not stopping.” Lyall drowsily smiles, failing to soothe his son.

Hope chuckles, raising both her arms out, “I believe I’m Remus’ favorite here, Lyall.”

Lyall walks over to her, “Never comfortable in father’s arms, huh?” He chuckles, looking at his son’s distressed face as he hands him over to his wife. As soon as Hope had Remus in her arms, he immediately calmed down, “And here I thought I was the only one who possessed any magic.” Lyall teased, crossing his arms.

Hope only winked at her husband in victory, and finally rocked their baby to sleep. Barely a minute had passed until their quiet moment was interrupted by a sound of loud banging from the front door.

Quickly snapping out of his drowsiness, Lyall widened his eyes in alarm at the sudden noise, “Who in their right mind is visiting at this time of night?” He turns to Hope, “I’ll get it. You stay here, darling.”

Lyall exits the room, and briskly walks down the stairs towards their front door. The Lupins barely had any visitors, let alone anyone in the middle of a rainy night. He cautiously puts a hand on the doorknob as he grabs his wand out from the pocket of his pants.

In one swift move, he flings open the door only to be greeted by no one. His shoulders relaxed in confusion as he examined the area. It was just as dark and wet as he would have seen from their nursery room. He furrows his brows, taking a step back to close the door. But is immediately stopped when he looks down to see a familiar house elf.

“Tibly?”

The small house elf shuffled in his feet, wide green eyes looked up at Lyall with uncertainty. Tibly’s bat-like ears drooped to his sides frightened to have interrupted the Lupins’ quiet night.

“G-Good evening, sir.” He mumbled, his high squeaky voice cracking.

“Lyall?” Hope calls outs, making an appearance beside Lyall, “Oh my, is that…?”

“Aderyn’s house elf.” Lyall points out, not looking at her, “Tibly, what on earth are you doing here? Where’s—”

“Tibly has come to—”

“Don’t just leave him out there in the rain, Lyall. Quickly, bring him in.” Hope scolds her husband, inviting the drenched elf in.

Once inside, Tibly shakes his small body in an attempt to dry himself off as his giant ears plop to and fro from his face. That was when the couple noticed Tibly was holding onto a rather large brown basket compared to his small fragile stature. And whatever was inside the basket was covered with a white sheet of cloth.

Tibly blinked a few times before nervously breaking the silence, “Miss Aderyn entrusted me to bring the little one straight here... if anything terrible were to happen to her.”

Hope looks curiously at her husband, “Little one?” She takes a step towards the elf as Tibly places the basket on the wooden floor.

Hope kneels down, peeling off the white sheet that covered its contents. She gasps in surprise, her hands flying to cover her mouth. What laid inside the basket was a small baby, looking barely a few days old, sleeping soundly through the storm.

Lyall was just as baffled by the situation, quickly feeling the lump forming in his throat. He knew what this meant, yet he couldn’t begin to fathom what might have happened to his best friend. He squeezed his eyes shut, taking in a deep breath as he tried to fight the tears that were welling up inside him.

“You don’t mean…” He manages to finally say, his voice hoarse as he shook his head, “I can’t believe it. She’s gone?”

Tibly whimpers in sadness, and shakily nods, “U-Unfortunately so, sir.”

“How?” Lyall asks softly, surprising the house elf with his gentle tone.

“She… She was very weak, sir. Shortly after the little one was born, she no longer took breath. Her final wish was to quickly deliver the little one straight here, sir.” Tibly explains, reaching into his oversized sweater to produce two white envelopes, “Along with these letters.”

Hope carefully gathers the newborn into her arms from the basket, and slowly stands up. She notices her husband standing perfectly still, making no attempt to move. With one hand, she reaches down to take the letters from Tibly, and hands them to Lyall. His eyes snap to hers, hesitantly taking the letters.

Letters in hand, he slowly makes his way towards the couch in the living room, propping himself on the cushion while Hope and Tibly follow. Hope sat down beside him, laying one comforting hand on his lap while Tibly merely stood watch from across the room.

Upon realising and feeling the baby in Hope’s arms, she glances at her contented sleeping face, and then at Tibly, “She’s completely dry.”

The elf gave a lopsided grin, “Tibly cast a spell so the little one would not get wet in the rain.” For a moment, Tibly was proud of himself like it was a great achievement on his part until his eyes landed upon Lyall’s sorrowful expression.

Lyall couldn’t understand how two white envelopes felt heavy in his hands, it was probably the feeling of dread that crept onto his chest. He examined his friend’s familiar handwriting among the paper. One was written with _To my daughter_ while the other was addressed to him.

“Miss Aderyn was a truly kind soul.” Tibly starts, looking at his bare feet as he fiddled with his new sweater, “Tibly will forever be grateful to his former Master for treating a lowly house elf like an equal.”

Lyall nods, faintly smiling, “She was.” And with a heavy heart, he tears open the letter.

_Lyall, my dear friend_

_If you receive this letter then I am long gone, and that Tibly, my loyal and kind house elf, has safely arrived at your doorstep along with someone whom you never expected to meet. I apologise as I’ve failed to mention my pregnancy the last time we met, and also to have burdened you to take care of another. I’ve read your last letter; Remus is a wonderful name, and I’m sure he’ll grow up to be a fine man like you. I hope my child and yours would one day have the same bond as we once did when we were kids in Hogwarts._

_You are the only friend I have left, Lyall. And that is why I entrusted you with her, and not my missing and good-for-nothing ex-husband. I have enclosed another letter for her when she is of age and ready to know the truth of her nature. This is my final wish, Lyall. Please take good care of Tibly and my child for me as you would your own._

_Farewell,_

_Aderyn_

“I didn’t know Aderyn well. You were closer to her—her closest friend, and probably the only one. She always did kept her distance.” Hope quietly says, then looks at her husband, “Aderyn trusted you with her child, Lyall.”

Lyall placed the letters on the space beside him as he propped his elbows on his knees, letting his head fall in defeat, “I know. It’s just that I… I feel like I failed her, Hope. I could’ve done more.”

“It was her choice. We had to respect her wishes.” Hope lightly squeezes his forearm before standing up, “I’ll give you some privacy. I’ll just let these two get settled.” 

Lyall nods in response, thankful for letting him have a moment to grieve.

Hope looks at the house elf, nodding her head towards the stairs, “Come now, Tibly. Let’s get you dried up. I’m sure you’re exhausted from travelling all day on foot.” 

“A-As long as Tibly’s new Master is well, Tibly is too.” He confesses, following her, “Tibly has travelled far longer, madam Lupin. And Tibly could not Apparate as it might have made the little one sick.”

“Master? But surely you’re free now?” Hope eyes his hand knitted sweater.

“Tibly is free. But Tibly would like to stay by the little one’s side…” He trails off, weakly smiling up at the child in her arms, then his ears prop up in realisation, “Tibly promises to stay out of the way!”

Hope softly chuckles, and the elf relaxes, “It’s alright, Tibly. Besides we could use the help.” She admits, making their way up the stairs, “You know, we can’t keep calling her ‘little one’ all her life. Did Aderyn name her before she… before she passed?”

“Oh! It is Y/N, madam Lupin. Miss Aderyn named her Y/N.”

“That’s settled then. Y/N, it looks like you’ll be living with us from here on out.” Hope smiles, opening the door to the nursery room, “I’m sure Remus would absolutely love your company, and maybe this time you’ll be the one to relieve his cries.”

_Mischief Managed_

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. The name Aderyn means Bird and is of Welsh origin.  
> 2\. The Master title is unisex in this story. Because for the love of Godric, I don't want Tibly to call the reader 'Mistress.'


	6. The Lesson

— 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐇 𝟏𝟗𝟔𝟓

You’ll never forget the day of the incident. It was just a week before Remus’ fifth birthday. 

The two of you had grown very close even when his parents had explained to you that you weren’t siblings, and that your own parents weren’t around. But you didn’t mind, you enjoyed your life being with them, even in spite of the times Remus would pull on your hair just for fun then you’d run to his mom to tell her about what he’d done. And yet, every time she scolds Remus and apologised to you, you knew better than to believe him right away. He wasn’t at all sincere as he’d always stick his tongue out at you after Hope turns to leave.

There were days when he’d really push you to the edge. You’d get so angry at him, that your clouded emotions turned to rage as the magic inside you conjured whirlwinds in your shared bedroom.

And this was one of those days.

You were in a fight with Remus. He’d just destroyed your only and favorite toy that his father, Lyall, gave you. It was your most prized possession. Remus, however, thought it’d be laughable to step on it.

The broken pieces, other wooden toys, and the contents of the beds flung high and soared across the room. Your emotions were too strong, and you couldn’t hear Remus and Tibly trying to calm you down over the sound of harsh words unceasingly coming out of your mouth.

Angrily, you faced the bedroom window, unable to look at either of them, but also desperately trying to diminish your anger. The evening looked peaceful as opposed to the chaos you made inside. And then you saw it, a glint of two golden orbs beyond the darkness of the night. Something inside you stirred danger, but you were too blind with great resentment at that moment to listen to it.

Remus placed a hand on your shoulder, fighting against the wind, “Y/N, I’m so—”

Before you could even stop the words that flowed out of your mouth, you had already regretted it.

You turn towards him, sharply snapping, “No. I hate you, Remy.”

It tasted vile in your mouth because you knew deep inside it wasn’t true, and yet you could see the hurt you caused in his eyes. Immediately, the wind had come to a halt and dissolved, dropping everything that flew mid-air with a loud thud on the floor.

You could see Remus’ frame slowly shrinking even further than it already did. How did it come to this? You loved him, yet you were hurting each other. He reluctantly took a step back, suddenly interested on the floor as he avoided your burning gaze. He knew what he did was wrong, he didn’t know how he’d come to the idea of what he did, but it didn’t mean that what you had said didn’t sting.

Fighting the tears that welled up in behind your eyes, you left the room in a huff with Tibly closely following behind you, leaving Remus alone in the clutter.

Strolling down the hallway, you sat atop the stairs, holding onto one of the wooden spindles. You could feel Tibly place a small hand on your shoulder as you silently cried your tears out.

“How could you say such a thing, Lyall?” Hope fumed.

You jump in surprise at the sudden voice. You hesitantly looked down at the living room to see Remus’ mother and father raising their voices at each other. The reason why they weren’t able to hear the sound of your destruction inside your bedroom was because they were having their own heated argument. That was the first time you’d really seen them furious with each other, and the fear that replaced your anger almost petrified you.

“Because it’s true! They’re vile creatures.” Lyall shouted, raising both his arms in exasperation.

“They’re misunderstood! And here I thought you of all wizards would understand.”

“How would you know anything, Hope? You’re a Muggle!”

“I know enough, Lyall!”

And then it was quiet for a moment. But that one moment was all it took to notice a loud crash from your room — where Remus was. And then you hear him screaming. You quickly jumped to your feet and ran towards the sound. Hope and Lyall finally snapping out of their argument in alarm, quickly followed and dashed up the stairs.

Once you reached the door, your breath hitched at the horrific sight. The man in front of you stood by the shattered window. He was large, vicious-looking. Grey hair spread across his facial features. His teeth were bared, but it wasn’t any normal human teeth, they were long and pointed. And then you turned to look at the floor in front of him, Remus was unconscious. His arm was bleeding out profusely on the floor.

“Remy!” You screamed, running to him.

The man quickly noticed your presence, snarled and waved his arm to send you flying against the wall across the room. You hit your head as you landed hard back on the wooden floor. 

“Master Y/N—” Tibly cried out, attempting to run to you but only to be sent flying out through the door and out the room.

“Get away from them!” You hear Lyall shout and cast a spell at the large man.

“You had this coming!” Growled the man as he stumbled back, “Let this be a lesson to you humans, and see how you can judge us so easily.” He snickered, giving one last look at the two small bodies on the floor before fleeing out the window.

Your vision and hearing were quickly fading, but all you could see was Remus. He laid there in front of you, unmoving. Tears spilled from your eyes, regretting ever having to argue over a stupid little thing in the first place.

You weakly tried to reach for his hand, “Rem…”

And then everything went black.

The day Remus was bitten by a werewolf — it was your fault.

_Mischief Managed_

__


	7. Feather White

— 𝐉𝐔𝐍𝐄 𝟏𝟗𝟔𝟖

Ever since that day, you hadn’t been the same around Remus. All of you painfully discovered that the wound in his arm was no ordinary bite; the man that attacked him was a werewolf. Your simple life had quickly transitioned to torturous nights that slowly dragged on with Remus’ pained screams. Calendars filled with marks each month for the rest of your lives. And constantly having to move houses; never staying in one place for too long as it might arouse suspicions within the neighborhood.

Three years had passed, and the guilt inside you never dissolved — always reminding you that it was you who caused Remus’ lycanthropy. If only you hadn’t been so angry, if only you listened to the gut feeling of danger, if only you weren’t so clouded by anger. You saw the man’s glowing eyes in the dark, yet you let it happen.

You and Remus were out by a small meadow in the middle of the forest. You and his family had just moved into another house, but this time far from the nearest living person. His mother had suggested that the two of you take a break from helping with the boxes. You were about to head inside when Remus playfully dragged you to a nearby pond.

After the incident, he never once blamed you for it, and somehow became nicer to you even if you weren’t to yourself. But you were always too distracted now.

You weren’t scared the first time Remus transformed. You were sad, angry, or a mix of both — at yourself. You weren’t scared — never of him even when he hurt you by accident. And as he got older, it grew harder for his parents to contain him during the full moon, and thus ultimately needing to move somewhere more isolated from civilisation. And each month that passed by, you felt helpless; unable to do anything but hide under the covers while they tried to calm his howling in the basement.

“Y/N, heads up!” Remus shouts, breaking you out of your trance.

But it was too late.

“Ow!” You exclaimed, the ball hitting your head as it bounced off into the pond behind you, “A little warning could’ve been nice!”

Remus laughs, his features softening in contrast to the scars around his face, “I did! You’re the one who wasn’t…” He trailed off as something in the direction of the house took his interest, “looking.”

You followed his gaze, and saw a tall old man walking up towards the porch of the house beside Remus’ father. His silver hair and beard were long enough to tuck into his belt. He wore a long purple robe in contrast to his sparkling half-moon spectacles. The two men were clearly having a serious conversation judging from Lyall’s firm expression.

“That’s Albus Dumbledore!” Remus pointed out in pure amazement as he stepped beside you, “The newest Headmaster at Hogwarts.”

You turn to him, “What? How do you know him?”

He blinks at you, like it was supposed to be obvious, “He was on the back of Chocolate Frogs!” Then turns again to watch him and his father enter the house, “I wonder what he’s doing here.”

You shrugged, uninterested and turned around to face the pond, “We’re not going to Hogwarts for another few years.” You say, trying to find where the ball had fallen in.

Remus was silent for a moment, touching a scar on his cheek, “You mean you. You’re the one going to go—not me.”

And there it was. There was no malice in his voice, but you could clearly hear he was hurt. Hurt for not being able to attend the famous wizarding school like a normal kid. Heartbroken and with a heavy heart, you avoided his eyes to stare at your reflection and the ripples of the water. For as long as the sun shined, the guilt will eat at you everyday. There was no way to make it right again with him. No way to cure his lycanthropy. There was no way you can ever forgive yourself. But most of all, there was no way you can bring yourself to drive him away.

Unable to face him as you fight the tears, you mumbled, “I’m going to get the ball.”

And then you stepped into the pond, not caring if your clothes got wet. The ball was nowhere to be seen. You think it must have sunk to the bottom, and so you take in a deep breath and pull yourself under the water. When you opened your eyes, the bottom was dark enough to blindly look at your surroundings despite the sunlight above water.

You didn’t know how long you were looking for the ball or how long you were underwater for. Once you decide that the ball is long gone, you quickly swim back to the surface. As you shake your head, and climb out of the water, you look up at Remus.

_Sorry, Remus. Looks like the ball is go—_

“Y/N!” Remus calls out towards the pond, cupping his hands in front of his mouth.

You jump back in surprise, looking at him with perplexed eyes. You were right there beside him. How could he have not noticed you? That’s when you realised you were shorter than your usual height, and somehow you could see your surroundings more vividly. And yet, it was like you weren’t there at all.

Panicked, you frantically eyed Remus desperately trying to get his attention, and… honked?

 _Remus? Remus!_ You honked again. _I’m right here!_

Whatever you did caught his attention, but he watches you with utter confusion, “What—bugger off.” He waves a hand at you, like you were some fly in his way.

Almost like instinct from danger, you jump back in the air, spreading your arms out wide to glide a few feet away from him.

_What?_

For the first time, you examined yourself. You looked down only to see that your regular human feet had transformed into black webbed ones along with sharp claws at the end of them. Then you turned to your sides, your arms were feathered in white — wings. You quickly waddled towards the end of the pond to see your reflection in the water.

Your eyes couldn’t believe what had reflected back.

A swan.

You were a swan.

Suddenly it felt like a bomb had exploded in your brain. In the grip of your silent panic, your heart raced so fast you were sure it might have popped out of your chest. You flung your wings up in the air in panic; flapping them almost comically. You yapped along the edge of the pond, gaining an even more confused expression from Remus.

“What in the world has gotten over you?” He asks, raising an eyebrow.

_This can’t be happening! I need to change back. Change back. I hav—_

Then you felt your wings envelop you as you stumbled back on the ground. You sighed in relief, finally feeling the familiar structure of your regular body once again.

“Y/N? Wha—Y-You were a… a swan!” Remus shouts in disbelief, running up to kneel beside you, “Blimey, how did you do that? Wait, did you get bitten too?” He asks, wrapping an arm around you to help you stand up, “Or wait—did you get bitten by a swan?”

“I… I don’t know.” You admit, shaking your head, “That was really weird.”

“That was brilliant!” He excitedly exclaims, a little too loud near your ear, “How’re you feeling? Think you can do it _again_?”

That was definitely the opposite reaction you were expecting from him.

“I’m fine. I think.” You shifted in place, trying to balance your footing, then suddenly snapped your head at him, “Wait—you want me to do it again?”

“Yeah, like on your own. Unless you transform like…” He trails off, his wide grin slowly dissolving as he suddenly feels sheepish, “Like me.”

You glanced away, swallowing hard in your throat, “I-I don’t know, Remus. It felt strange. Having a long neck, feathered wings, and all.”

You hear him chuckle, he snorts, “Like becoming a six foot furry wolf isn’t strange enough.”

“I—I guess that’s true.” You blink in awe at him.

You were amazed with how well he was taking the whole situation more than you did — he was practically jumping in his heels, excited that he wasn’t the only one who can transform now. Your heart practically leaped in your chest as you saw a bright heartwarming smile on his face, almost lifting the guilt off your shoulders and making you forget what you did. Almost. But for the first time in so long, you let yourself enjoy this one moment. This moment where you had the chance to be the one to make him smile again.

Out of excuses to give him, you finally say, “Fine.”

You faintly smile back at him then slowly closed your eyes, willing yourself to become a swan once more.

And then you transformed.

_Mischief Managed_

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. White Swans are very in touch with their feelings and are often very sensitive. By using their strong feelings to back their magic, spells gain extra power from the emotions at play.


	8. Aim for the Stars

— 𝐒𝐄𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝟏𝟗𝟕𝟏

“I can’t believe this is real.” Remus exhales, grinning from ear to ear as his head poked out from the compartment window, “I can’t believe this is happening!”

You tug on the edge of his red sweater, insisting to pull him back inside, “Remus, stop sticking your head out the window like an actual wolf!”

The two of you were alone inside one of the carts of Hogwarts Express, finally on the way to the wizarding school after much excitement since Dumbledore visited your home. The new Headmaster had heard about Remus’ situation, and was granted the authority to properly accommodate the Lupins when the time came for Remus to attend school. Remus was overjoyed with the news, jumping in glee to finally be able to learn real magic and make new friends for as long as they followed precaution.

However, along with Remus’ ecstatic enthusiasm, he had slipped and accidentally revealed your transformations as a swan, and that your transformations were far different from his. Lyall and Hope were just as shocked and in the dark about it as much as you were. They had only known about the death of your mother and missing father, but never did your mom once mention anything about transformations to them.

You could tell that Lyall had his suspicions but stayed silent and kept it to himself otherwise. Without much to go on, you settled on simply accepting that you could transform and somehow spend more time with Remus.

“Remember what Dumbledore and your dad instructed us to do, Remus.” You budge, finally pulling Remus back onto his seat across from you, “This is serious.”

Remus pursed his lips into a straight line, his mood only slightly ruined, “Go straight to the Whomping Willow a day before the full moon.” Then he smiles again, bouncing in his seat to look back at the window, “But you’ll be there with me so I’m not too worried about it.”

“But you know there’ll be times when I can’t be there with you.” You nervously say, your voice just above a whisper as you bite your bottom lip.

“I know.” He acknowledges quietly, still looking at the moving scenery outside, “But that’s alright. I won’t be completely alone.” He locks eyes with you, his toothy grin making you blush, “I’ll always have you to come back to.”

Before you could open your mouth to speak, the compartment door opens revealing two other first years. A girl with long red hair and freckled cheeks, and the other who trailed just beside her, a boy with shoulder-length black hair who looked more timid and shy than she did.

“Hello. Um, do you mind if we sit with you?” The redhead curiously smiled then took one glance at the cart they just walked out from, “Our cart was taken by two incredibly annoying gentlemen.”

“Not at all!” Remus exclaims, a wide smile on his face as he patted the seat beside him, “Remus—is my name. Remus Lupin. And this here is my friend, Y/N Y/L/N.”

“I’m Lily! Lily Evans.” Lily saunters over, stretching out a hand to shake Remus’ as she sits down beside him, “And that’s Severus.” She introduces the boy coming to sit beside you.

Severus only half-smiled in response, obviously not wanting to engage in conversation while Remus and Lily drone on about how exciting it was to start at Hogwarts. Slightly jealous of their quick friendship, you look at Severus who’d been quiet since they entered. You pluck up the courage to curiously ask what had occurred during their previous encounter with the other first years.

“So what happened in the other train cart?” You asked, trying to get his attention.

“Just a bunch of gits. Don’t want to talk about it.” He sulks, only side eyeing you as he crosses his arms.

You hum in reply, not wanting to push it, and instead changed the topic, “So Severus, did you and Lily grow up together?”

His expression softens, almost reminiscing as he looks at his best friend, “Sort of.” Then at Remus, “I’m guessing you and Remus, too?”

“Yeah, we’ve been inseparable for as long as I can remember.” You smiled, basking in Remus’ animated face as you contemplated without revealing too much, “Among other things.”

“Your face. Are you alright?” You hear Lily ask Remus, noticing the concern in her voice as she examines the scars on his cheek.

“Oh, this? Completely fine. Our cat isn’t all that fond of me.” He chuckles, waving a dismissive hand then looks at you with gentle eyes, “Or both of us for that matter.”

Shyly smiling at your two new found friends, you gently placed a hand on your arm. Through your sweater, you felt the bandages around it from the last full moon. Just because you were able to transform and drastically help Remus calm down in his werewolf form doesn’t mean he was completely in control of himself. But it was definitely an improvement.

Suddenly feeling the tension in the air, Remus' voice echoes through the compartment, “Oh, by the way, I brought these!” He announces, reaching into the pockets of his jeans to reveal a few bars of sweets, and offers it to the two, “Chocolates?”

* * *

Before you knew it, you were stepping inside the Great Hall. Walking alongside Remus and the other first years in your dry robes. Most of you anyway. Earlier, as you crossed the Black Lake in your boats, you witnessed a blonde boy had clumsily fallen into the water. You remembered his name to be Peter. Poor boy had to arrive completely drenched.

Trying to avert your attention from the sounds of his dripping wet robes and soaking shoes, you decided to examine the room. It was definitely a sight to see. It was lit by thousands of candles floating in midair; just over the four long tables where you assumed each House sat. You and Remus looked up, almost in a trance as you were fascinated at the black ceiling decorated with many stars.

When the Sorting Hat had finished its song, you tightly held onto Remus’ hand as Professor McGonagall started calling names to step up in front. Your hands started clamming up from sheer nervousness. Remus on the other hand, looked so composed but even without looking back, he squeezed yours telling you that he was just as on edge. What if you were sorted into different houses? It felt like forever until Professor McGonagall called on Remus’ name.

“Good luck.” You whisper to him, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze.

Your heart flutters as he lets go of your hand and flashes you his signature grin before stepping up onto the stool. And then it was your turn. As soon as you sit on the stool, the Sorting Hat announces your House, sighing in relief to have been sorted in the same House as Remus. And then you excitedly settle yourself between Remus and Lily on the Gryffindor table before Dumbledore steps up onto the podium in front of the room.

“Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts!” Dumbledore starts his speech, his voice booming through the Great Hall.

You hear a scoff from across the table, “My family is going to be _so happy_ when they find out I’m in Gryffindor.” The lustrous black haired boy said ruefully.

“Cheer up, Sirius. We’re going to have so much fun.” The boy with untidy hair next to Lily pipes up, wiggling his eyebrows at him.

Lily rolls her eyes at them, then leans in to whisper in your ear, “It’s the two I mentioned earlier in the train—James and Sirius. They kept going on and on about which Houses they’d be sorted to.” Then looks up at Dumbledore, avoiding any eye contact with the two, “Can’t believe I have to even live under the same tower as them.”

“First years note that the forest in the grounds is forbidden to all pupils. And a few of our older students would do well to remember that as well.” Dumbledore’s twinkling eyes flashed in the direction of the first year Gryffindor table, “And I must tell you that starting this year, the tree next to the Greenhouses, the Whomping Willow, is out of bounds and is to be avoided by everyone in this room who do not wish to be plummeted to death.”

“Might not be such a bad year.” Remus whispers, studying James and Sirius as they waffled among themselves, completely unbothered to even listen to the Headmaster.

Because you and Remus practically grew up together, you could tell the two boys were right up his alley behind his innocent smile, and you could almost see the mischievous glint in his eyes. You knew he was ecstatic to finally make new friends — especially guy friends. Not that you minded, you were just as relieved to share the same feelings as Lily. You thought the two boys were a little too much for your taste as you stared particularly hard at Sirius.

“I guess I always sort of knew I was a lion.” Sirius said smugly, raising his head.

Without even thinking, you spat out with a smirk, “Really? You look more of a snake to me.”

Sirius snaps his eyes at you, his annoyed expression slowly changing as he took a good look, “Don’t think I don’t notice you staring since you sat down.” His lips tugged into a smirk as he placed his hand on his chin, “Don’t be shy. You can ask me out.”

To your annoyance, he was clearly enjoying the attention, “Alright.” You simply say, unwavering from his intense stare, you leaned in closer not breaking eye contact, “Go. Out.”

You could hear James, Lily, and even Peter holding in their laughter around the table as Sirius turned a shade of red. Proud of yourself, you sit back smiling, bringing your attention back towards the front of the room as Remus gave you a nudge of approval on the shoulder.

“—Aim for the stars, my dear students.” Dumbledore finishes, stepping back from the podium.

And from the corner of your eye, you witnessed James picking up a spoonful of pudding from the banquet, and fling its contents right into Sirius’ face.

“James!” Sirius fumes, wiping his face with the back of his hand, “What was that for?”

“What? He said aim for the stars.”

_Mischief Managed_

__


	9. Bonds

— 𝐌𝐀𝐘 𝟏𝟗𝟕𝟐

You spent most of your first year hanging out with Lily, Severus, and Marlene McKinnon — whom you and Lily met once you were assigned to your designated dorm room. And half the time, you spent it with Remus. You didn’t interact much with his friends James, Sirius, and Peter unless they needed your help to pull an awful prank on Severus — which you profusely protested to participate in. You, and the other girls didn’t want to get caught up in the crossfire between their childish feud.

But while you and Lily were scolding Remus and his friends from time to time, Marlene, on the hand, had developed an immense crush on Sirius — which you found hilarious but didn’t have the heart to tell her.

You always found Sirius to be quite infuriating especially when he’d disturb you for the stupidest things while you studied in the common room. James was second on your list, he was cocky; always trying to show off how good he was on the broom, and messing up his hair only because he thought it looked cool — it didn’t. Peter practically worshipped his friends, always quiet but foolish; neither participating in James and Sirius’ feud with Severus most of the time, but also barely making any effort to put a stop to it.

But the worst part of being friends with them were the lies. Lying to them every month. Making up reasons why you and Remus had to suddenly leave. There was only so much the two of you could make up excuses before they caught on.

“Again?” James sighs loudly from across the long table in the Great Hall.

“It’s a family thing.” You simply say, avoiding the boys’ gaze.

“Y/N and I have to go.” Remus adds, eyeing the food on his plate, clearly unable to do the same.

* * *

As months went by, Sirius was the first to notice. The first to notice you and Remus’ exhausted faces, and sometimes along with cuts and bruises riddling along your cheeks and arms despite your great efforts to cover them up.

And the occasions that you stayed behind, you always looked worried, hardly having any sleep when Remus was gone. Sirius thought that maybe it was because you didn’t want to go home with him. Sirius didn’t blame you. He knew how it felt. He understood how it felt to live in an unstable household, and desperately wanted to say that it was okay to confide in him.

“We have to visit his mom.” You look at Remus, holding his hand on his lap under the table.

He nods, his voice hoarse unable to keep lying to them but he had to, “She’s ill again.”

“We’re your friends, Remus. You don’t have to lie to us.” Sirius worriedly glanced at the two of you from across the table then fell silent for a moment, “I understand, y’know.”

You and Remus look at each other in surprise, wondering just how much he knew. Both of you didn’t want to confirm his suspicions just yet, and silently decided to continue along with your lie.

“It’s true.” Remus insists, then looks at Peter and James on either side of Sirius, “I’m sorry, guys.”

* * *

One day, after Remus’ transformation, news circulated that James had been attacked by the Whomping Willow trying to go near it, and was held up in the Hospital Wing by madam Pomfrey who forbade visitors while he was still recovering.

“Are you _sure_ I can’t punch him in the face?” Sirius asks, motioning his hand towards Remus behind you.

“Yes.” You firmly say, crossing your arms as you stood between the two boys.

The three of you argued in the Gryffindor common room, Sirius and Remus both trying to convince their brilliant idea of visiting James by injuring themselves. Peter sat apprehensively from the couch, trying but failing to defuse the heated tension between you three.

“What if I just break his nose a little?” Sirius suggested, “I swear I’ll be gentle.”

“Come on, Y/N. How else are we going to see James?” Remus begged, backing up Sirius.

“I said no.” You snapped, turned around to face him with furrowed brows, then at Sirius, “I’m not letting you two tosspots hurt each other, am I clear?”

“Yes, mum.” They sigh in unison.

Later that day, Peter ran shouting through the halls trying to find you and tell you the news of what happened. You were Remus’ childhood friend so naturally Peter came to you first while also not wanting to enter the Hospital Wing alone.

Once the both of you reached the Hospital Wing, and finally annoyed madam Pomfrey enough to let you in, the two of you entered to see the three boys lying in bed side by side, wide grins on each of their bloodied stupid faces.

“Lupin and Black did what?” You hear Professor McGonagall by the door.

She was with Dumbledore while madam Pomfrey recalled the events between Remus and Sirius.

“I can’t believe you two idiots went through with it.” You shake your head, trying to suppress a smile as you sit on the edge of Remus’ bed.

“Correction. Geniuses.” Sirius said confidently, tapping his temple.

“I tried to stop them.” Peter confessed in your direction, nervously fiddling with the railing at the end of James’ bed.

“Remus actually threw the first punch. Impressed he had it in him.” Sirius declared, nodding his head in approval at Remus.

“Well, you must admire their dedication.” You hear Dumbledore point out from across the room, studying the injured boys through his half-moon spectacles.

“How’re you feeling though, James?” You ask him, who was next to Remus’ bed.

“Better now that you’re all here.” He laughs, smiling up at all of you then winced in pain, “Except maybe for the huge bruise I might have on my back.”

Unbeknownst to Y/N and Remus, the reason James was near the Whomping Willow in the first place was because Sirius had told him and Peter that something wasn’t quite right with their best friend, and that he knew you weren’t telling the truth. Noticing that the two of you come back to school with fresh scars and bruises only made them even more concerned.

When James was on his way back up to the castle from visiting Hagrid, he saw you and Remus crawl out from under the tree, unscathed nonetheless. Curiously, when the two of you had gone back inside the school, James took it upon himself to find out what was going on inside the tree under his invisibility cloak. Much to his dumb luck, he was thrown across the threshold and got hurt until Hagrid found him groaning in pain in the grass. 

“Y/N, I got one.” Sirius pipes up at the far end of the beds, grinning through his bruised lip.

You raise an eyebrow, “Right now?”

You and Sirius had this ridiculous thing where he’d try out pick up lines on you before putting them to good use on other girls since you were the only one he hardly had any effect on, and didn’t find him at all attractive — unlike the rest of the girls in your year.

“Take me to a Healer. I just broke my face falling for you, Y/L/N.” He winks, failing to hide a wince from the pain.

You snorted, “If you’re waiting for me to care, Black. It’s gonna take awhile.”

“I’m crushed.” He dramatically places his hands to his chest, then nonchalantly looks away, “It was worth a shot.”

“Might work on Marlene though, you know how she has a crush on you.” You stated, trying to lift up his spirits for once.

It was no secret that Marlene liked him. It was quite obvious — well, to everyone. And she didn’t hold back her obvious advances towards Sirius. He reveled in her attention but never really took any particular interest in her. He only shrugged at you in response, obviously uninterested to continue the conversation.

“Yeah, her and half the other girls in our year.” James points out, almost disappointed then his eyes grow wide in realisation, “Wait, does this mean we get to skip out on exams? Yes!”

“No, it does not, Mr. Potter.” Professor McGonagall shouted from across the room.

All of you laughed as you watched James sulk back into his pillow.

That was the day the four boys’ bond grew deeper than ever; realising they could count on one another — no matter what.

_Mischief Managed_

__


	10. The Slip Up

— 𝐎𝐂𝐓𝐎𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝟏𝟗𝟕𝟐

In the first two months of your second year, you had pretty much scoured the whole library from top to bottom shelf in an attempt to find something, anything to help with Remus’ lycanthropy. You were desperate as his friends, the Marauders — they now called themselves, were very close to discovering your secret. It was only a matter of time before one of them found out, and you needed any kind of remedy — even a mere temporary solution to buy yourselves more time.

“Ugh! There’s absolutely nothing in this whole library that would help with lycanthropy.” You utter under your breath, plopping your head down on the open book before you, “Remus and I can’t keep this going on forever.”

“Remus is a werewolf?”

You quickly sat up in surprise to see Peter emerge from behind one of the bookshelves. He shyly smiles at you, slowly approaching your table with a thick textbook of _A Beginner’s Guide to Transfiguration_ in hand.

“Peter!” You look up, your eyes blinking rapidly as you stumbled with your words, “W-What’re you doing here?”

He sheepishly rubs the back of his neck, and gestured to his textbook, “Studying up on my Transfiguration. Professor McGonagall has me under a close watch after almost failing last year.” He nervously chuckles, glancing at the floor.

An awkward silence fell between the two of you, the obvious tension hanging in the air.

Peter finally looks at you, his timid personality replaced with a more serious expression on his face, “Is that why the two of you always leave?”

“I—” You hastily tried to think up a lie.

Peter may be — for the lack of a better word — less knowledgeable, out of his friends, but you knew he was smart enough to know that there was no fooling him.

You looked at him with pleading eyes, “Please don’t tell anyone about this. It’s extremely important to us that you don’t.”

“Does Professor Dumbledore know?” Peter whispers, cautiously looking over his shoulder in case anyone overhears your conversation. You pressed your lips into a thin line, and nodded. “I guess that explains things.” He lets out a sigh, smiling as he tilts his head to the side in realisation.

“You’re not scared of Remus?” You ask, trying to study his reaction.

Peter’s eyes go wide, “What? Of course not.” He pulls the chair beside you, and takes a seat, watching out towards the rest of the library, “I mean, it’s horrible that he has to turn into a werewolf every month, but it doesn’t change who he is.” Then he softly chuckles, turning to look at you, “If he can transform into a beast, and still worry about not having enough chocolates on his bedside table then he’s still Remus—our Remus.”

The tension in your shoulders relax, relieved to know he sees Remus the same way you do, “I’m glad. Thank you, Peter. You don’t know how much of a relief that is.” Giving him a smile that caused him to blush, “But please keep it a secret from the others. We’ll… we’ll tell them on our own terms when the time comes.”

Trying to compose his flustering, he brings up his hand into a salute, “Don’t worry. Your secret's safe with me!” And pantomimes to zip his lips, “My lips are sealed.”

* * *

The viewpoint was as if you were in your swan form — shifting and gliding with ease as you examined your surroundings. You stood in the heart of a forest, at the edge of an idle river. The water carried slimy pools of debris from withered leaves, twigs and duckweeds.

Above the mass of water, high branches wove a tunnel of fading green leaves like archways. You studied the tall trees and untamed bushes. The air is rich with the fragrance of leaves and damp. It looked as if it had just rained — the dirt remained wet under you. And then you craned your neck upwards to see an almost full moon, reminding you the dread of another unavoidable day.

The sound of the running water in the river has a relaxing, hypnotic quality, like you were just there and time stood still.

And then you woke up with a start back in your dorm room, sweat beading down your forehead with the smell of earth still vividly lingering in the air.

* * *

“They’re going to know sooner or later, Remus. Maybe… maybe we should tell them.” You suggest, nervously fiddling the hem of your sweater you borrowed from Remus.

The two of you were alone inside the boys dorm room, contemplating your next move as the full moon approached only days away. And you had confessed to Remus of what happened between you and Peter the other day in the library.

What you didn’t confess was the strange dream you had last night. You couldn’t begin to comprehend how the dream was strangely vivid, and how you were able to smell the deep forest as if you were there, when you were sure there were no signs of any kind of plant life in the girls dorm room. You tell yourself it was just a figure of your imagination, and kept shut about it, not wanting to burden Remus any more than you already did.

Remus wasn’t mad about what happened with Peter, but he wasn’t happy about it either. He cherished what he already had with his friends, he didn’t want to taint it by revealing the one thing he was sure would ruin everything.

“Y/N, I—“ He starts, frustratingly raking his hand through his hair when his eyes shoot up to look at the door. With the full moon nearing, his heightened senses helped him to hear and recognise the incoming rushed footsteps just outside the dorm room. He breathes out, his heart dropping to the pit of his stomach, “Oh, no.”

And then the door bursts open, letting in a furious Sirius, James, and a frightened Peter.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N!” Peter frantically apologises, closely following behind Sirius and James, “I swear it was an accident. It just slipped out!”

“You’re a werewolf?” James immediately spat out, his eyes boring into Remus’.

You immediately took hold of Remus’ hand and stepped protectively in front of him. James didn’t flinch, he stood his ground, watching Remus’ pained expression fall onto his face.

Remus thought he had more time, he thought he’d be able to break his lycanthropy to them his way. But he knew deep down that was never going to happen.

And now, the thing he dreaded the most was happening right before his eyes.

_Mischief Managed_

__


	11. Serendipity

— 𝐎𝐂𝐓𝐎𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝟏𝟗𝟕𝟐

Remus swallowed the lump in his throat, looking away from James’ intense gaze, “I—I understand if you don’t want to be around me anymore.” He took in a deep shaky breath, “I’m a monster.”

Shocked by his words, you face him, squeezing his hands as tightly as you could, “Remus, you’re not a monster. You’re just—”

James interrupts, composing himself of his anger, “We’re not mad because you’re a werewolf, mate. We’re mad because you didn’t tell us!” He takes a step back, almost hurt that his own best friend couldn’t trust him, and glances at Sirius who was next to him, “We’re your friends, Remus.”

Sirius nods, giving Remus a reassuring smile, “Yeah, we have your back no matter what. You’ve just got...”

“A little problem.” Peter finishes, nodding his head from side to side as he steps up beside the two boys.

“A furry little problem.” James lightly jokes, chuckling in an attempt to lighten the mood.

Remus who was dumbfounded, stood motionless, his mouth wide open in an expression of stunned surprise. He saw the sincerity in their expressions, and took a moment for himself to take in their words. He couldn’t believe what he had just heard. His eyes studied theirs, wondering, waiting to see if it had been all a joke, but when they didn’t confirm his doubts he was speechless — a loss for words. Your tight hold on his hand was the only thing that brought him back to the surface.

After a long aching moment, Remus finally spoke, “A-Are you really not at all afraid of me?”

Sirius laughs, walking towards him to lightly pat his shoulder, “You’re being dramatic. You fold your socks, mate. Forgive me if I’m not trembling at the sight of you.” And then his smile didn’t quite reach his solemn eyes, he looked away, “And besides, I’ve… seen worse.”

Before you could ask what was worse than turning into a werewolf, Peter pipes in, raising his hand to share his own fear, “I have worse nightmares about failing Transfiguration.”

“I think it’s really cool!” James smiles wide, bouncing in his heel before coughing, “So… how’d it happen?”

And then you and Remus tell the whole story. Reliving the night it happened, and the following years that occurred until Dumbledore came for a visit devising a plan especially for Remus so that he may attend Hogwarts like any other student. You explained how the Whomping Willow led to an abandoned house just at the edge of Hogsmeade, and that’s where the two of you stay until the full moon passes.

Once the two of you are finished, James nods his head trusting both your words in a heartbeat, “So when the two of you leave, it has absolutely nothing to do with your parents?“ You and Remus look at each other confused, you simply tell them it's not what they assumed it to be, and for a moment you caught a glimpse of Sirius sighing in relief, “Is there any way we can help?”

Quickly, Remus denies, “No, there isn’t—”

“We _could_ turn into Animagi.” Peter suggests, gaining everyone’s attention and nervously jumping when they stared at him. He mumbles, shifting in place, “Read that in our Transfiguration textbook.”

“Like Professor McGonagall?” Sirius raises an eyebrow.

And then your eyes go wide in realisation. It was brilliant.

With newfound determination, you look up to face Remus, “Peter’s right. I’ve been reading up to see what might help with lycanthropy. And so far I learned that werewolves are only a danger to humans.” Your eyes land on the three boys in front of you, “If they turned into Animagi then things would be easier. There’s only so much my company can do in my animal form, Remus.”

“Brilliant idea!” James exclaims, slamming his fist into his open palm.

“I’m in. Wait—did I hear that right?” Sirius blinks, doing a double take to glance your way, “You’re a werewolf, too?”

“Oh, no!” You quickly deny, frantically waving both your hands in front of you, “I’m able to transform into a swan anytime I want.”

Sirius acknowledges with a thoughtful expression, “A swan. So, you’re already an Animagus?”

“I—I’m not. Becoming Animagus is a process.” You cross your arms, contemplating and tilting your head trying to figure it out yourself, “I’m not Metamorphmagus either since I can’t change any of my appearance.”

“I’m confused.” Peter brings up his hands on either side of his head as if it were about to explode any second.

Clueless just as they were, you sigh, letting your arms drop to your sides, “So am I. But it doesn’t matter as long as I get to help Remus in some way.”

“Are you insane? I can’t let you three become Animagi just for me.” Remus finally speaks up, clearly against Peter’s idea to let them transform into an animal — an animal just like him, “I could never forgive myself if something were to happen to any of you.”

You step in front of him, gently cupping his face in your hands, “Remus, we need all the help we can get. It’s my fault we’re here in this situation in the first place.”

The guilt still ate you until today, but if his friends were willing to make it all the more bearable for him, then it was worth a shot.

You don’t know how much longer you can see him in pain in his werewolf form, your only presence as a swan barely made a dent to his uncontrollable mind. You reassuringly added, “And I don’t think it's such a bad idea.”

You hadn’t noticed Sirius closely watching the two of you, his mind whirling at your sudden confession. He started to mumble, “Your fa—“

But then James cuts him off, practically jumping with excitement, “Could be fun!” Before Remus could even put a stop to him, he continues on, “Too late, Remus. We’ve made up our minds.”

“You need us, Remus. We’re here for you, and you can’t do anything about it.” Sirius promised.

And just like that, the heavy weight on Remus’ shoulders had disappeared. He fought back the tears that welled up inside him. He asked himself what he’d done to have such amazing friends — ones who weren’t at all afraid of him, who decided to stay by their side despite his affliction. Finally, Remus gives a small smile to the boys, he knew there was no changing their minds when they were just as determined to execute a brilliant new prank.

James practically jumps in between everyone, and throws his arms around Remus and Sirius’ shoulders, pulling you all into a group hug, “We’re gonna be moon buddies.”

It was a weird feeling. Somehow you were happy, happy to share something with the boys — despite the circumstances that brought you together. And yet, you felt light, like you were finally part of their inner circle without having to join in their silly shenanigans.

“Not until our fourth year though.” You murmured, laughing through the bodies crushing you, and momentarily being the bearer of bad news, “It’s a long, complicated, and tedious process. It’ll take awhile for me to study and brew the potion. Especially _three_ potions.”

James only ignores you, and proceeds to begin making jokes and puns about werewolves. After a while, when his excitement has died down, Remus pulls you aside to the corner of the room.

He shyly rubs the back of his neck, taking a moment to fondly bask in the enthusiasm of the three boys, “Y/N, I—I know I probably don’t say it enough but I’m grateful to have you by my side.” Then he gazes at you with soft eyes before pulling you into a tight hug, “Even if you think otherwise. I don’t think I could’ve survived all these years without you. I just… Thank you.”

You couldn’t find your voice. You felt your cheeks flush hot, and your stomach doing cartwheels. You were suddenly hyper aware of the smell of his newly shampooed hair, and his sweater that smells sweetly like chocolates. It was ridiculous how you felt, this was Remus, you tell yourself. Nothing out of the ordinary, but why did this feel different?

You were too preoccupied with the heartbeat that erratically pounded in your chest that you didn’t notice Remus was feeling the same way you did.

To the best of your ability, you steadily breathe out, slowly wrapping your arms around him, “Of course. We’re in this together—all of us.”

For the rest of that year, neither you nor him had realised the feeling inside both your hearts had slowly grown and changed into something more.

_Mischief Managed_


	12. Blood & Potions

— 𝐍𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝟏𝟗𝟕𝟑

Before you knew it, you were already starting your third year. Over the previous months, you’ve surprisingly grown fond of the Marauders company. You still preferred to stay out of their feud with Severus, yet somehow you started to develop your own special relationship with each one of them.

On days when Peter was on the verge of tears trying to figure out a way to complete his homework, you’d step in to help. James had recently joined the Quidditch team, and when no one else was interested to listen to what he’d learned during practice, you were there to give him your full attention, absorbing each of his dramatic retelling.

You constantly exchanged books with Remus, reading in the common room, and when it was too loud for both your liking, you’d relax by the Black Lake; enjoying each other’s company in silence. Sirius always runs to you for girl advice all the while still attempting to test run pickup lines on you, and failing because you always managed to respond with a snarky comeback.

You had to frequently apologise to Lily, Marlene, and Severus when you and the Marauders needed to help Remus with the upcoming full moon every month. Lily was always somehow understanding and you were grateful for it. Marlene was only jealous because you spent more time with Sirius than she did, and started to think if you guys were a thing which you profusely denied. And Severus only grew to dislike your spending time with them.

Your bond with the Marauders may have grown deeper, having shared Remus’ secret. However, you still kept a secret of your own; you hadn’t admitted to the strange dreams you’ve been having. It was peculiar how you’d have the same dream, and still be so different.

It was always in the same forest — judging by the trees you’ve grown to be familiar with. It was like you were exploring it — _living_ in it — as if it was your own home to wander. You never managed to understand if there was any hidden meaning behind it or if you were simply going mad.

“Shouldn’t Remus be back from his _y’know_ by now?” Peter’s eyes wander the morning rush of the Great Hall, looking through the blonde waves that hung over the side of his face.

One thing you couldn’t get over though, was how quickly everyone’s appearance had changed over the summer. It was hard to believe the boys you once called dorks were now — you admit to yourself — actually good-looking. Surprisingly, their new image didn’t faze you, especially when their personalities hadn’t changed along with it.

What you did mind though was how everyone in your year constantly gawked at them like they were eye candy. It was hard to hide when you always hung around the Marauders.

“He should be.” You munched on your ham sandwich on one hand while holding a copy of _One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi_ textbook on the other, “Or else we’ll be late for first period.”

“Wherewolf?” James snickered.

Sirius smirks, following suit, “Therewolf.” He nods in the direction of the open double doors, his long black hair swaying to the sides of his face.

You look up from your reading to see Remus making his way to your table. His appearance too had changed. He stood tall, practically towering over you now. His messy brown hair had been cut short by Lyall’s not so great skills at cutting hair. And despite the circles around his eyes and freshly healed scars on his barely covered cheeks, Remus still managed to be just as attractive as the other boys.

Quickly composing yourself from the sudden race of your heart at the sight of him, you closed your book and stood up to face him with a welcoming smile.

“I swear to Godric, I will kill you both.” Remus growls, overhearing their horrible pun.

James laughs, completely ignoring his threat to stand up beside you and pat his shoulder, “Alright, mate?”

“Bloody fantastic.” Remus deadpanned, then he looked over to you, a smile growing on his lips despite his exhaustion.

“You’ve looked a lot worse.” You softy say, reaching up on your tiptoes to fix his tousled hair.

The mere softness of your touch was enough to dissolve his weariness. His heart never grew tired, always appreciating the little things you did for him. How you’d properly fix hair even when he’d already done it himself. How you’d buy a lot of sweets from Honeydukes when you know his stash was running out. And most especially how he knew how to tie a tie on his own, which he’ll never admit to when it meant stealing a moment with you.

“Glad to know I haven’t hit rock bottom yet.” He softly chuckled, his eyes basking in your beauty you weren’t aware had also changed over the summer.

You lightly shake your head, "You know I won't let that happen." You turned to the boys, reminding them of your next class as you took hold of Remus’ hand, “Come on, we’re gonna be late for Potions.”

* * *

“Splendid! Absolutely splendid.“ Slughorn echoed, his voice booming off the stone walls of the dungeon, “My my, I believe we have two excellent future potioneers.” He raises two vials in front of the classroom for everyone to see, and turns to look at either of his side where you and Severus stood, “Y/L/N and Snape, the quickest to brew our Shrinking Solution. You have both exceeded my expectations. Well done!”

You gave a meek smile to your friends and the Slytherins in your year, suddenly very shy to be the center of attention. Severus, on the other hand, seemed to be indifferent to Slughorn’s praise — almost bored really. When Slughorn finished complimenting your potion skills to place the vials behind his desk, you and Severus make your way back to your respective tables, and take your seat in between Lily and Sirius.

Lily leaned in your ear, “I can’t believe you were even able to brew it. I followed every instruction and still got it completely wrong.” She defeatedly sighs, propping her chin on her hand.

“You did great, Y/N.” Remus praises from across the table, giving you his signature smile.

“Suck up.” Sirius playfully teases, whispering under his breath just enough for you to hear.

Your ears perk up, and click your tongue, “Says the guy who’s so _eager_ to join his Slug Club for extra credit.” You sarcastically say, snorting at him and rolling your eyes.

“I’m not the only one who’s eager.” He glances at the brooding Slytherin potioneer-to-be from across the room.

“Oh yes, before I forget!” Slughorn exclaims, turning around to face the class, his eyes scanning the room, “Y/L/N, Snape, I need to talk to you both after class.”

“Oooh.” James snickers from beside Remus, wiggling his eyebrows, “Looks like Slughorn is about to play matchmaker.”

Before you could even retort, Slughorn adds, “You too, Mister Black and Potter.”

Everyone at the surrounding table desperately tried to keep it together from bursting into a fit of laughter as you watched Sirius and James’ blood drain from their faces.

* * *

You briskly swerved through the thick overgrown trees, stepping back into the forest robbed you of one sense and heightened the others. The soft rustling of the branches almost felt heavy to hear.

You followed a narrow path, which was made uneven by the knotted roots that crossed it, branched at intervals. It was dark, but you could somehow see where your surroundings were. You smelled the earth beneath you and the decomposing leaves made the atmosphere close and thick. And then you smelled something else — something metallic. Curiously, you let yourself follow the trail until it grew stronger in your nostrils. You couldn’t help but gag at the horrible mixture of smells. It was an overwhelming blend of iron and decay, and then you realised.

Blood.

You looked down to see a faint trail of blood on the forest floor, the reddish brown drops visible under the dim moonlight. Scared out of your wits, you wanted to run, but you couldn’t — unable to take control of your own body — you continued on, the stench of blood grew stronger than ever. Your eyes adjusted to the dark, trying to see the end of the trail, and then you stopped in your tracks.

It was a deer — a dead deer.

The once graceful creature was now almost devoid of skin and pitted by burrowing insects. Its stomach was ripped wide open, its guts — that had turned a dark shade of red — spilled out onto the forest floor. It's been dead for quite some time. You wanted to turn away as your stomach heaved and nostrils filled with the smell of rotting meat. But then you moved closer, seeing its black unblinking eyes while its mouth hung open as maggots fed on what remained of the carcass.

And then you shot up from your bed screaming, knuckles turning white from clutching the blanket. Your breaths came in gasps, and you feel like you might black out, which was the last thing you wanted. You felt sick and the room seemed to spin around you. Trying to keep your breathing under control, you hadn’t noticed Lily and Marlene pulling on the curtains of your four-poster bed.

Their concerned voices were hazy, you couldn’t make out what they were saying. But you could hear Lily faintly counting, and that’s what you concentrated your senses, your breathing on until your heart slowed.

_Mischief Managed_

__


	13. Private Sessions

_—_ 𝐃𝐄𝐂𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝟏𝟗𝟕𝟑

After your Potions class, Professor Slughorn instructed that you and Severus, being the top of your class, would tutor the students who were on the verge of failing — Sirius and James. They had no qualms with it, they were aware of the bare minimum effort they gave when it came to their studies.

But as soon as Sirius and James heard that each of them needed to partner up, the two boys immediately darted for you, clearly not wanting to study under their archenemy. However, it was Slughorn who ultimately gave the final decision. With an unhappy James being paired with Severus, and you with a victorious Sirius.

One day, the afternoon before you woke up screaming in the middle of the night, you suggested that you and Sirius study in the library to review and go over what you had learned over the term. Barely ten minutes into your study session together, he was already bored and decided that watching girls giggling about him from across the room was more interesting than listing the effects of a Doxy egg.

Furiously, you scolded him for not paying attention, instead he slumped over the book you told him to read, saying how he was more of a ‘hands on’ learner. Despite the doubtful look you gave him, with a defeated sigh, you tell him to meet you at the Potions classroom the next day — which was a Saturday — the last trip to Hogsmeade before the holidays. After complaining how he’d rather spend the day with his friends, he finally caved when you threatened that he could study with Severus instead.

“You’re an hour late! And I never thought I’d hear myself say that.” Sirius shouts from his seat at the far end of the empty classroom as you briskly walk in, “That’s one hour of precious time I could’ve had at Hogsmeade today.”

Sirius, for once in his life, was actually on time. He took it upon himself to set a table ready with his cauldron and ingredients he picked from the shelves. After thirty minutes of waiting, he feared that something might have happened, knowing you weren’t the type to disappear without a word. As his patience diminished and irritation arose, when you finally entered the quiet room, he was just about to give you an earful until he noticed the obvious exhaustion that was plastered on your face.

“Sorry.” You grimly mumble, placing your _Magical Drafts and Potions_ textbook down on the table as you sit on the stool chair beside him.

Sirius’ eyes go wide, completely caught off guard by your apology and the lack of feisty attitude you usually had towards him. His lips pressed into a thin line as he studied you, noticing the dark circles that had formed under your eyes.

He clears his throat, glancing over the pages you were flipping through, “So what’re we learning today, teach?” He lightly says, a little more cheery than usual in an attempt to lighten the mood.

“Let’s see if you can brew a simple Wideye potion.” You say, stopping on a specific page and handing the textbook to Sirius.

And without another word, Sirius nods and gets to work, closely examining the instructions in the textbook with your occasional help. The ingredients had to be added into the cauldron in precisely the right order and quantities; the mixture had to be stirred exactly the right number of times.

After what almost seemed like an hour of brewing, the surface of his potion had a shimmering mist of green vapour when Sirius noticed you were quiet for a while. Your eyes were trained on the cauldron, heavy eyelids almost too slow to blink, and irises too stationary. It was as if your brain was suffering a massive short circuit and was struggling to get back to where you were.

“Hey, Y/N. I have one.” You barely hear Sirius say, unaware of his attempt to try out another pickup line. His voice was foggy in your ears until he leaned in closer, completely dismissing it, “You alright?”

“Huh? Ah, yeah. Sorry.” You blink a few times, your eyes sliding back into focus.

He raises a doubtful eyebrow, examining your distracted expression, “You know I pretty much ignored a step and added more Billywig than instructed.” He easily says, lightly shrugging to peer inside the cauldron, “So this thing just might explode any second.”

Your eyes snap wide open, frantic to look inside the cauldron, “Sirius!”

“I’m kidding.” He gives a carefree laugh then looks at you a bit more seriously, surprising you, “Look, I know I can be a jerk sometimes.”

You smirk, scoffing at him, “And here I was beginning to think you were incapable of being self-aware.”

“Harsh.” He laughs again, finally relieved to have your spunky attitude back once more, “I just noticed you’re not looking too good.”

You suspiciously squint your eyes at him, “You’re not getting out of our study session early, Sirius.”

He shakes his head, and touches the crease in between your eyebrows, “I’m just saying that you look like you got a lot on your mind.” He quietly says, leaning on his elbows on the table to press on closer, “My hearing is definitely capable of doing its job. I know you’re closer to Moony, but I’m here anytime if you need someone to just listen.”

“Anytime?”

“Anytime.”

Doubting his words, you raise an eyebrow, “Even when you’re too preoccupied locking lips with a girl?”

His eyes glint, flashing his signature smirk, “Jealous, are we?”

You bravely lean in, your noses almost touching, “Not. In. The. Slightest.” You return his smirk, harshly enunciating every word.

The two of you held each other’s stare for what seemed like a long time. You were dangerously close to his face, and you were growing painfully aware of the somersaults your heart did in your chest. He had the kind of face that stopped any girl in their tracks but never you — you remind yourself — never you.

But when his eyes slowly lingered to your mouth, you knew you were crossing dangerous waters. His eyes flipped up to yours, lids hooded then quickly back to your mouth. He knew what he was doing, and the crackling tension sparked across your skin.

Without a hint of hesitation in his mind, he grins, finally answering your question, “I meant what I said, princess.” And he finally backs away to check up on the cauldron, “You see that?”

Quickly composing yourself from what just occurred, you raise your head to see Sirius had successfully brewed the potion, “You did it!” You jump in excitement out of your stool, not noticing he had flinched when you wrapped your arms to hug him.

When you let go, you notice him staring wide-eyed dumbfounded down at you, “Did you just—did you just hug me?”

“Yeah? Is that not what you do when you celebrate something?” You chuckle, curiously studying his face.

“No, I celebrate with a bottle of Firewhisky I hide under my bed.” He quickly says, trying to cover up any real explanation until he notices your pensive look, “It’s just that no one’s ever done that to me before.”

You blink, “What? Hug you?”

He nods, shrugging his shoulders, “My family was never the touchy-feely type.” He looks away, his eyes turning dark, “I don’t remember the last time I’ve been hugged or even remember what it feels like.” He let out a restrained laugh, “James’ group hugs and him tackling me to the ground most certainly does not count.”

You never knew the full details of his family, but you had your suspicions that it definitely wasn’t a happy one. Especially when he’d get a Howler from his parents every few weeks. You gulped, almost guilty and forgetting that you might have done something insensitive. But you didn’t want him to feel undeserving of receiving affection either.

“Well, get used to it, Black.” You simply say, giving him a mischievous grin, “I’m going to hug you so often you’ll get sick of it.”

“You know what?” He turns his head to you, his eyes and smile so gentle you could almost feel its effects warm up the back of your neck, “I don’t think I will.”

After that, the two of you packed up and made your way back to the Gryffindor Tower. Once you reached the empty common room, you took one step on the stairs that led to your dorm room when you stopped to look back at Sirius.

“Oh, and Sirius?” You call out to him, and he turns around responding with a hum. You nervously clutched the books around your chest, “For the record, you can talk to me anytime too.”

_Mischief Managed_

__


	14. A Close Call

— 𝐃𝐄𝐂𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝟏𝟗𝟕𝟑

  
It had been days since your first study session in the Potions classroom with Sirius. As the holidays approached, to your surprise, he didn’t mind studying after school hours before he had to return home for Christmas. And conveniently, Slughorn was more than willing to lend you his classroom during the weekdays. Slowly but surely, you could see Sirius improving on his brewing skills — and almost actually enjoying it with each session. As opposed to the other pair studying for the class.

“So how goes studying with your arch nemesis, James?” Remus teases, looking up from his book.

You and the Marauders — minus Sirius — sat around the Gryffindor common room. Remus was on one of the armchairs by the fireplace while Peter, frightened out of his wits, sat on the other across from him. You and James sat comfortably on the couch. He had his wand out, waving it aimlessly, as he pointed it just above Peter’s head.

“Absolute nonsense.” James groans, obviously hating the fact that he has to spend his free time with Severus, “It’s horrible enough I have to breathe the same air as him.”

“J-James, p-please.” Peter begs, his voice quivering in fear as he tightly grips onto the sides of the chair, “Take the spider away.”

“Stop being so mean.” You scold, playfully slapping James on the shoulder.

“Yeah, James. You know how scared he is about spiders.” Remus adds with slight amusement, making no movement to stop his antics.

Ignoring the both of you, James waves the eight-legged creature to softly land on Peter’s head, “It’s not hurting you, Peter.”

Peter jumped, holding onto the chair for dear life, “It’s on my head.” And looks up through his hair, feeling the rustling of its legs.

A mischievous smile tugged on the edge of James’ lips as he whispered, “Engorgio.”

And then all you could hear was Peter’s loud, horrified shrieking that bounced off the walls as he jumped out of his chair and ran out onto the next room with James cackling and running closely behind him.

“Poor Peter.” Remus chuckles, shaking his head as the sound of their voices dissolved.

“What was that about?” You hear Sirius behind you.

You turn around to see him letting go of his hands from his ears, you grab the textbooks on the space beside you and stand up, “Took you long enough.”

He shoved his hands into the pockets of his pants, “Sorry. Marlene needed help with… things.”

And here you thought he was smoother than that. You hummed skeptically, raising an eyebrow as you walked around the couch, “I’m sure it was quite important.” And then you noticed the dark spot that peeked through the collar of his dress shirt, you rolled your eyes and nodded at it, “Hide that bruise of yours, will you?”

Caught in the act, Sirius quickly pulls up his collar closer to his neck which didn’t do much to hide the obvious hickey.

“Come on.” You urged, taking a step toward the portrait hole.

“Oh, where are you going?” Remus speaks up, a slight hint of jealousy in his voice that Sirius picked up, but not you.

You whip your head, gesturing with the book in hand, “Another study session.”

For a moment, Remus glanced at Sirius behind you who looked straight back into his eyes. Sirius was undeniably aware of Remus’ feelings for you. It was an unspoken rule among the guys to never lay a hand on anyone they were interested in, and even without the need to speak, Sirius and Remus were reminded of that.

Remus blinks, trusting his best mate as he relaxes his tense shoulders, “I’ll see you later by the lake?”

You grinned at him for remembering your plans to read together, “Yup, see you!”

As the both of you exited the common room, it had suddenly become unbearably quiet. Remus ultimately decided he’d get a head start, grabbed his book, and walked out towards the Black Lake with a heavy weight in his heart.

* * *

“The potion’s brewing well.” You examined the cauldron as the liquid bubbled inside, “Now, we just have to let it sit for a while.”

“I’m just glad I don’t have to suck up to Slughorn. I don’t think I can handle being in the same club as Snivellus.” Sirius shudders at the thought, placing a vial back on one of the shelves, “Being in the same classroom as him for an entire two hours is sufferable enough.”

You roll your eyes, shaking your head dismissively as Sirius never fails to complain about your Slytherin friend, “Well, at the rate we’re going, Slughorn just might invite you.”

He snorts, “I’d gladly bury myself alive first.” Then he walks back next to you, raising an eyebrow, “And besides, isn’t this our last session together?”

You blinked, instantly realising he was right and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, trying to hide the disappointment you felt, “Right.” You simply say, letting your eyes wander over to the cauldron, “Will you look at that? See, I knew you could do it!”

You giddily jump out of your seat to give Sirius another hug, then you look up at him with a teasing smile, “As Slughorn would say, ‘We’ll make an excellent potioneer out of you yet.’”

He laughs, taking one glance at the cauldron then at you, “I just have a really good teacher.” His eyes scanned your face, never looking away, “I’ll never be half as good as you though.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, slapping your hands together on either side of his face, “Never doubt yourself, Sirius.”

Sirius flinched, his tense body relaxing under your soft fixated eyes, your positive outlook towards everything never failed to make his heart swell. And in that moment, you were suddenly aware of the position you were in, yet you made no attempt to back away from his heated gaze.

And then Sirius gently placed his hands on yours, holding them there to take a moment to feel your gentle skin on his. Then he slowly took hold of them, placing them flat on his shoulders. He brushes a strand of hair out of your face, drawing close enough for you to feel his breath on your lips.

With your hands on him and half-closed eyes, he slowly leaned in, testing the waters to give you time to walk away, but you didn’t — you stood rooted to the spot.

Your faces grew dangerously close, and both your mouths hung slightly open in anticipation of what’s next. Warmth flooded through Sirius’ chest as he saw the tenderness in your face. Your chest thump so hard that you swore it was audible, his eyes stayed strained on yours. 

A shudder came through you. And not from the chilly December air. You couldn’t decipher what was going on in his head but his face looked as if he was mentally fighting with himself.

Sirius knew he could turn any girl with just a look, but he had his own rule — you were off limits to him. Especially when he knew his best friend had obvious feelings for you. He didn’t want to ruin the relationship that you already had with the Marauders. 

And then he pulls away, your hands leaving him, “I—We can’t.”

Gaining your focus back, you blink a few times realising what just happened, “No no, I-I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s not your fault.” He quickly says, raking a hand through his hair in frustration.

The feeling he felt was nothing more than pure infatuation. It shouldn’t change anything — you were his best mate’s childhood friend. And yet, no matter how many times Sirius met up with Marlene, he always thought of you. And everyday when you’re together, that’d be it — like a moth to a flame, you wouldn’t leave his mind all day.

He honestly hated the feeling, it felt so foreign to him; he desperately begged himself for it to stop. But when his eyes lock with yours, it burns his as if staring into the sun for too long.

To him, it was a mere crush, and reminds himself you’ll never be his, and in turn — he can’t ever be yours.

That much he knew.

He loudly clears his throat, stepping backwards to the door, “Now that I made it weird, I’m going to make my exit.” Before you could say anything, he starts to leave but turns around as his hand reaches for the handle, a gentle smile on his face, “Thanks again, teach.”

And then he leaves the dungeons. After more than a week of your study sessions together, Sirius didn’t want to admit it to himself, but he knew he was going to miss spending time alone together.

_Mischief Managed_

__


End file.
